Spiritual gift o' the day

Catching up from a long July 4 holiday, I found this in my stack of press releases:
"The Da Vinci Code, in blurring the lines between fact and fiction, popularizes the speculations and contentions of a new brand of fiction. In response to such hypocrisy, stand true to your Lord and light the path of your faith ...."

And what will light that path of faith? A seven-inch Glow-in-the-dark Crucifix, which "provides the pious with a serene jade-like luminescence" if it soaks up artificial light for a few minutes. "Better yet," the release reads, "place your "Glow-in-the-dark Crucifix under direct sunlight and bask in the force of brilliant energy that eminates."

Hmmm. As a child, the best prize I ever got from a cereal box was a set of extendo grab-claws that glowed in the dark, made out of (and I'm guessing here) the same sort of material. As cool as it was, I don't think I ever "basked in its force." But maybe I just never left it out in the sun long enough.

It's $10.95, by the way, available here.